How to save a life
by butterflybeauty26
Summary: 6 months after the final battle and Hermione is struggling. However she doesn't want anyone to know. This is about how she deals with everything that happened to her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I realized that there aren't really stories that deal with right after the war. I am writing this because it had little things that I was missing from other stories. I am taking a bit from the movies and a bit from the books. The nightmare is paraphrased from the last book, British edition, and when I do "…" that means I skipped along. And I had some people live that originally died because I can. Ha!**

 **Thank you to my Beta Xennon for helping me out. :)**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. It's all the brilliant J.K. Rowling's.

Six months after the final battle and Hogwarts was being rebuilt. For those that have been working on the rebuilding full time, they stayed in the areas of the castle that didn't see the fight. Mainly the dungeons. The majority of people who helped when they could find the time to help; traveled in and out of Hogwarts by apparating. The people staying in the castle were only a select few. They were Professor McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Professor Snape. Severus Snape was saved when Harry went to the forbidden forest to face Lord Voldemort and Hermione fed him a bezoar and blood replenishing potion at the boat house, then apparated him to the great hall where they re-stationed the hospital wing due to the battle. There, Madame Pomfrey continued to extract the poison that Nagini delivered. After a month he was back to normal. The memories stored in the pensieve from Professor Dumbledore cleared him from any wrongdoing at court.

Professor McGonagall took over as headmaster and took control of the reconstruction. Old professors, people that survived the battle, and other people who heard about the fight all wanted to help.

Everyone was eating dinner in the Great Hall which was the first place that got reconstructed. It was exhausting work and all the Weasleys stayed for dinner made by the house elves, so that way Molly wasn't having to cook as well as help. When desert was served Hermione looked around and leaned over to Harry and Ron.

"I think I'm gonna go to my room." The boys looked at each other then back at Hermione.

"Are you sure? Cause we can come with you."

"No thanks Harry. I am just gonna go to bed." She hugged the two of them and waved a farewell to everyone. As she walked down to the dungeons she kept looking behind her to make sure she wasn't being followed. She finally reached the room she was staying in, ran in and shut the door. Leaning on it, she caught her breath.

"There's no one following you Hermione. You're safe in Hogwarts. It's over. You-Kn- Voldemort lost." She kept repeating that as she stripped herself of her jeans and shirt. When she walked over to the mirror she took a deep breath. Looking back at her was a healthy 19 year old. She closed her eyes took a deep breath and with a wave of her wand, took off all the glamours she used. She opened her eyes and looked back at the REAL Hermione Granger. She was malnourished and sleep-depraved from their year on the run and could see her bones sticking out from places where you shouldn't. She had circles under her eyes that were so dark that they looked like crescent-shaped black holes. She looked at all the scars, bumps and bruises that she had obtained from the battle along her torso. Which brought her eyes over to her worst scar. On her arm. Mudblood. She told everyone else it didn't bother her. After about 3 weeks after the battle, it was as healed as much as it could be so she stopped going to St Mungos for it and wore long sleeves in all temperatures. But alone in her room, when she saw it, it was a reminder that she didn't belong in the wizarding world. Nor did she fit in with the muggle world. It was also a reminder of the time she was tortured, when she wished so much to give up and left her an empty shell of The Hermione That Was. It haunts her. She fell to the floor and she let the silent tears stream down her cheeks and her emotional walls fall. She sobbed long and hard until she was paralyzed with sadness. After she sobbed her last and sat dejectedly, she wiped her eyes and slowly stood. She put up the silencing and privacy charms, just like she did while they were on the run. But now she does it to keep her nightmares to herself. Once she was washed up and was dressed in her pajamas, she went to bed. A couple hours after she fell asleep, her nightmares found her.

...

 _The gates swung open. "Come on!" said Greyback to his men, and the prisoners were shunted through the gates and up the drive, between high hedges and onto trimmed but full grass that muffled their footsteps. Harry saw a ghostly white shape above him, and realised it was an albino peacock. He stumbled and dragged on to his feet by Greyback; now he was staggering along sideways, tied back to back to the four other prisoners into the entrance hall of the Malfoy Manor._

 _Yaxley greeted them. "More prisoners? Just take 'em pure n 'alf ones down below w'th the rest."_

 _"What about the Mudblood then?" growled Greyback. Just then, the Malfoy family came in to see what the commotion was about. Harry was nearly thrown off his feet as the Snatchers forced the prisoners to swivel around again, before realizing who else was in the room. So be it that the light fell on Hermione and her features._

 _"Wait," said Narcissa sharply."Are these the prisoners?"_

 _"Yes, Missurs Malfoy, I just told Greyback to take 'em down to the dungeon to wait for d'Ministry to get 'ere." Yaxley chimed in._

 _"You will do no such thing, I recognise this girl; she's the mug-Mudblood that's friends with Potter! Yes- yes,she was in Madam Malkin's with him, I saw her picture in the Prophet! Look, Draco isn't it the Granger girl?"_

 _"I… maybe… yeah."_

 _"But then, that's the Weasley boy!" shouted Lucius, striding around the bound prisoners face Ron."It's them, Potter's friends- Draco look at him, isn't it Arthur Weasley's son, what's his name-?"_

 _"Yeah, Ro-Roland." said Draco again, his back the prisoners. "It could be"_

 _The drawing-room door opened behind Harry. A woman spoke, and the sound of the voice wound Harry's fear and fury to an even higher scale._

 _"What is this? What's happened, Cissy?"_

 _Bellatrix Lestrange walked slowly around the prisoners, and stopped on Harry's right, staring at Hermione through her heavily lidded eyes._

 _"But surely," she said quietly, "this is the Mudblood girl? This is Granger?"_

 _"Yes, yes, it's Granger!" cried Lucius. "And beside her, we think Potter! Potter and his friends, caught at last!"_

 _"Potter?" shrieked Bellatrix, and she back away, the better to take in Harry. "Are you sure? Well, then, the Dark Lord must be informed at once!"_

 _…_

 _"STOP!" shrieked Bellatrix. "Do not touch it, we shall all perish if the Dark Lord comes now! We aren't certain if these prisoners are without doubt Potter and his... pets. As well as... information on what exactly has been taken from me"_

 _Yaxley and Lucius both froze, their index fingers hovering over their Marks. Bellatrix strode out of Harry's limited line of vision._

 _"What is that?" he heard her say._

 _"Sword," grunted an out-of-sight Snatcher._

 _"Give it to me."_

 _"Where did you get this sword?" she whispered to Greyback as she she waved his wand out of his grip and spelled him immobile, kneeling in front of her on the floor._

 _"How dare you?" he snarled, his mouth the only thing that could move as he was forced to gaze up at her. He bared his pointed teeth. "Release me, woman!"_

 _" Where did you find this sword?" she repeated, brandishing it in his face. "Snape sent it to my vault in Gringotts!"_

 _" It was in their tent," rasped Greyback. "Release me, I say!"_

 _…_

 _Narcissa hesitated for a moment, then addressed the werewolf._

 _"Take these prisoners down to the cellar, Greyback, Yaxley. Make sure they can't escape."_

 _"Wait," said Bellatrix sharply. "All except… except for the Mudblood."_

 _"After all," Bellatrix cackled as she laid her eyes on a terrified Hermione, "we do need to find out why a certain... precious belonging of mine was laying in the scum's nest."_

 _…_

 _Hermione screamed again from overhead, and they could hear Bellatrix screaming back too, in enjoyment at the pain of those below her. While Ron couldn't get back to her; he still called out for her. "HERMIONE! HERMIONE!"_

 _From upstairs they heard Bellatrix's voice._

 _"I'm going to ask you again! Where did you get this sword? Where?"_

 _"We found it- we found it- PLEASE!" Hermione screamed again; Ron struggled harder than ever and the rusty nail slipped on to Harry's wrist._

 _…_

 _From above came Bellatrix's voice._

 _"You are lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell me the truth, tell me the truth!"_

 _Another terrible scream-_

 _' HERMIONE!"_

 _" What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth or, I swear, I will do much worse than what I am doing right now, and by Merlin, at the end of it, you will pray for death!"_

 _…_

 _Hermione was screaming again, the echoes bounced off the walls. Somehow, whether by design or coincidence, the screams echoed through the dungeon twice as loud than it was up above. The sound of their best friend in pain went through the pair like knives._

 _…_

 _" What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!"_

 _…_

 _Upstairs Hermione was screaming worse then ever._

 _" How did you get into my vault?" they heard Bellatrix scream. "DId that dirty little goblin in the cellar help you?"_

 _" We only met him tonight!" Hermione sobbed. "We've never been inside your vault… it isn't the real sword! It's a copy, just a copy!"_

 _…_

 _An awful scream drowned out Harry's words: Hermione was being tortured again._

Hermione bolted up in the middle of a scream. Her hands went up to her mouth to try and stifle the sobbing. She was sweating and shaking. Every night. That's what invades her mind. She can still feel the Cruciatus Curse and the knife on her skin. She looked at the time and saw it was 1 in the morning. Getting barely two hours of sleep could hardly be good for her. Shaking her head she got out of bed and took a shower. She sat in the tub and sat emotionlessly. How will she move on?

And once again, for the Merlin-knows-what-numbered-time, she stayed up with no intention to sleep for the rest of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I own nothing. And thank you to Xennon for being my beta**

The next morning, people slowly filled the Great Hall for breakfast. The Weasleys and the other people who stayed at the castle all sat at the same table. After everyone exchanged their greetings, they started to eat. Harry looked around halfway through and realized that Hermione was not there. He sighed and shook his head. Ginny caught the movement and leaned over the table.

"What's wrong?"

Harry looked up and sighed as he realized everyone at the table's attention was on him. "Hermione's not here."

Not understanding Ron shrugged his shoulders as he replied. "So? She probably got to work early. You know how she is."

Harry looked around and got an idea. He called a house elf and asked if she came down early for breakfast. The house elf shook his head no. After the house elf left Harry started thinking and looked around the table. "Does anyone else realize that Hermione only comes to dinner?"

Everyone looked a little surprised and realized that they all shook their heads. "Why don't you check the list and see where she is." Professor McGonagall suggested as she looked at the piece of paper hanging up by the entrance.

Harry nodded as he headed that way. They had enchanted a piece of parchment that had a list of everyone in the castle and where they were, so that way they knew where people where in case of emergency. When Harry looked at the parchment he saw that she was in the library. A small smile presented itself. He walked back over to the table and addressed the table. "She's at the library."

Molly looked at Professor McGonagall, who gave a small nod, then looked at Harry and spoke, "Why don't you go check on her." The younger people at the table looked at her with confusion. "I'm concerned that she secludes herself and when she is here she doesn't really speak. We need to all look out for one another. And I think she'll answer you kids." At this the other adults nodded their heads as Molly spoke what they all felt.

Still confused Harry just slowly nodded his head and headed to the library. As he walked there he started to think back on the last 6 months. Since the fall of Voldemort, a lot had happened. Kingsley Shacklebolt had been appointed Minster of Magic hours after the battle, as the ministry was cleaned out and the people that were left voted him unanimously after they cleaned out all the Death Eaters. When they looked at Hogwarts and realized how much needed to be done, half of the Order went to help Kingsley clean up the mess Voldemort made, while the other half stayed at Hogwarts. The next 6 months found people slowly healing and finally laughing. When Harry thought about what Hermione had done in the past 6 months, images flew by in his head. But they were all of her working. Everyone would take time out in the day to relax. But he couldn't remember Hermione doing that. At first he thought that it was just the same way she would throw herself into her work. But now? He wasn't sure. It was with this confusion that he entered the library and stopped in his tracks.

When they were trying to figure out what needed to be done, Hermione was devastated to see the state of the library. There were shelves knocked over, books everywhere, and general chaos. She took it as her mission to fix it. Now as he looked at it, it looked like it did when Professor Dumbledore was alive.

"Hermione?!" He called out and heard her answer near the back. When he approached her he saw her bent over a table with books stacked around her.

"When I got the shelves in order I realized a lot of the books were ruined. So before I could put things away I have to fix the books." He watched as she fix a page that was ripped and words were smudged. At the end of her sentence he saw the book be put back to normal. After she flipped the page to make sure it would hold she looked up and gave a small smile. "Morning Harry. How are you?"

He sat down across from her and looked in her eyes. "I'm good. We missed you at breakfast." He watched as some emotion he couldn't detect flickered in her eyes before it went away.

"Sorry. I got up early and thought I would just get to work." She looked back down and kept fixing each page.

"Well. Hermione. Why don't you come with me downstairs? Everyone misses you." She paused in her work but kept going.

"I'm sorry, but the sooner I fix these the sooner I can move on to the next project."

"When was the last time you ate?" Hermione stopped and slowly looked up before she looked back down.

"I was at dinner last night. I sat next to you." Harry took a long look at her as she kept working. He could tell something was wrong. But not what. He gave a small shake of his head as he made a decision.

"Hermione stop." She looked up and put her hands down as he stood up. "Come with me." Hermione gave him a look as he reached out a hand. "You know Molly sent me up. She won't be happy if I come back without you." She considered him then slowly stood up and followed him. Harry sent a patronus and saw Hermione look at him. "Just letting them know that I'm coming with you."

They kept walking but went down a hall that didn't go to the Great Hall. She looked over at him as she slowed down. "Harry. Where are we going? I thought we were going to the Great Hall."

Harry nodded and looked over at her. "Yeah, but this morning when I went to the library there was a section of the hallway that got closed off so that way they could repair it properly without worrying about someone getting hurt." She nodded and picked up the pace to follow him. They came to a turn that went to the hospital wing. She stopped in her tracks.

"Harry. Stop lying. What's going on?" He stopped as well and turned to her.

"Hermione. I'm sorry. But this is for the best." He raised his wand as he shouted, "Petrificus Totalus!" Hermione just raised her wand when the spell hit. He then levitated her to the hospital wing.

When he got there Madame Pomfrey ran over and brought her to a bed and started tests. Harry walked out and saw everyone there.

"Look. I don't know what's going on. What I do know is Hermione is not ok. She's throwing herself into work, I don't think she's eating. I just want to be sure she's ok." They all nodded and looked back at her on the bed. Madame Pomfrey looked over and waved them all over.

"What is it Poppy?" asked Professor McGonagall.

Poppy started wringing her hands and looked away from them all. "It's not good is what it is." She straightened her back, put her hands to the her sides and looked them all in the eye. "Somehow we all forgot something." Everyone looked confused, and before anyone could ask she answered. "Hermione Granger is the smartest witch of her age. She has been using glamours all this time to hide the true nature of her condition." Poppy went back to Hermione who was sleeping and as the crowd gathered around Hermione.

They watched as Poppy removed Hermione's glamours. Everyone watched as she changed and the REAL Hermione was revealed. Everyone gasped and looked closer. There were tears falling and nobody was left unaffected. Professor Snape got out of his shock first.

"Tell us what is wrong with her. I know what we see. But list it." Everyone looked at Snape confused. He rolled his eyes as he continued. "There might be internal injuries and I can't help her with potions until I know what is wrong with her."

Poppy nodded and started talking. "Right. Well, as you can see she has lost a lot of weight. By my examinations she has not eaten properly in over a year. She also hasn't slept for more then 5 hours a week, and that's a generous estimation. She has injuries that have not healed properly. Broken bones, lacerations, burns of various types. There's more, but until she wakes up I can't diagnose her properly."

"Is she asleep under the effect of a sleeping potion?"

"Yes Severus. I gave it to her just before Mr. Potter came back in here with you all. I don't know why or how she hasn't been sleeping naturally. The lack of sleep would've easily killed her if she hadn't been a witch." Poppy was cut off as all of a sudden Hermione started screaming and thrashing in the bed. Poppy went to pin her down and gestured for the others to do the same. While everyone tried to get Hermione to stop spasming, the mediwitch tried to calm the frantic girl. Severus reached into his robes and pulled out a potion, which he then gave to Poppy to pour down her throat. It took a few minutes but she calmed down and settled down with frown creases on her forehead.

A few of the visitors looked at Severus with a questioning look. .

"It's just a potion to calm her and rouse her. It's a more gentle way to wake her up." Everyone nodded and watched as she slowly came around.

"Huh? What's going on?" Molly and Minerva went up by her head as Poppy stepped aside and each took a hand. She looked at Minerva who spoke up.

"We were all concerned about you, you haven't been showing up to meals. Harry brought you to Poppy and she showed us what was behind the glamours. Then you had what I can only expect was a nightmare." At this Hermione's eyes closed as she sighed and swore.

Everyone looked at each other surprised, Hermione Granger never swore. She opened her eyes and looked around. "So I guess you want answers?" They all slowly nodded.

"Right. Sirius, can you get me a shot of firewhiskey?" They all looked between the two surprised. When Sirius wasn't moving for his flask, Hermione rolled her eyes. "I know you always have some on you. If you guys want to know the truth, that's the price. I won't be able to tell anything if I am not intoxicated."

Sirius nodded and pulled out a flask. She sniffed it then took a few sips. She handed it back and sat up. "Right. So when we defeated Voldemort, that night was when the nightmares started. They were… about my time at the Malfoy Manor." Ron and Harry went pale as a sheet at that. "Does everyone know what happened?" Everyone but Harry and Ron shook their heads no. "Right. So basically we got captured. Malfoy Manor was where we were brought. They weren't sure about Harry's identity because I sent a stinging jinx to his face. They figured it out though. They were about to call Voldemort when Bellatrix noticed the sword of Gryffindor, which we had and used to destroy a Horcrux with. Bellatrix flipped out because it was supposed to be in her vault in Gringotts. They decided to put the boys in the cellar while Bellatrix… interrogated me. She asked me if we got it from her vault and I denied it. Saying it was a fake. She sent round after round of the Cruciatus Curse at me. Each one more painful than the last, lacing more and more hatred into her incantations. When that wasn't enough she carved... the word 'mudblood' in my arm with a cursed knife. I think at least an hour had passed before Dobby saved us."

She gave them time to absorb this, then continued. "After the battle was finished and it was time to sleep, rest and celebrate. That didn't work.. I tried to, but, well, those memories kept coming back. I found out that I couldn't sleep for more then 3 hours. The next morning I tried to eat. But couldn't hold anything down. I kept trying and failing. On both accounts. The nightmares flooded me and the food wasn't staying down. I knew that it was from the year on the run. Perhaps some form of PTSD." At this Ron cut in.

"But Harry and I were able to slowly gain the weight back, sleep and eat normally."

Hermione rolled her eyes and continued. "Yes. I know. But I think the reason for me being more reactive to this type of after-effect is because of my time I was tortured as well as bearing the weight of the necklace horcrux since someone left halfway through and the other person had thrown a tantrum." This time Poppy cut in.

"Although those are some valid reasons, it shouldn't be enough to make you unable to eat or sleep for this long."

The potions master nodded affirmative at this, backing Poppy up.

Hermione looked down as she continued. "Well, I also might've been hit by a, um, curse. During the battle. I didn't recognize it, so I can only assume."

Everyone looked around as she sat in silence. Snape was the first to speak. "Do you think I could take a look?" She looked up with a curious glance.

"Legilimency?" She questioned. Snape nodded as she stiffened her upper lip. "OK. But just for the part of the battle with the curse. I'm not giving you free reign on my memories." At the stern look from the young witch Snape nodded and responded, "I will come after dinner. If that is amenable to everyone." When everyone nodded he left the room.


End file.
